Friday, December 21, 2012

Ingram Asked - End of the World Edition

Well, it's finally here, December 21st, and I here I am in the center of Mayan society, Guatemala. Two hours away from here, a huge party is raging in the tourist trap known as Tikal, and instead of joining in. I'm going to answer your questions instead.

Q: Will you ever post a video? 

A: Ha, ha, ha! Silly Shauna, I don't have the bandwidth to post videos. However, you may have these photos instead.

 The living room. 

 The front end with lots of construction.

A fancy boat which came by recently.

Q: Can Popeye get canned spinach here? 

A: You can get anything canned here. 

Q: What things do you miss the most about Canada/Fort Mac?

A: Convenience, good internet, Chinese food, snow, TV, a car, being able to have a conversation with     someone in the same language. 

Q:  What would you miss the most if you left Guatemala?

A: The climate, the nice humidity of being on the water, things being very cheap, and being able to grow a huge beard (I haven't shaved since July).

Q: Have you bought a shotgun now?

A: No, I don't want a gun, even if it is what's fashionable here. I'm sure I will be perfectly safe without one. 

Q: How are you celebrating Christmas assuming the world doesn't end?

A: Turkey, and that's pretty much it.

Q: What are your plans for New Years?

A: None. At least at this time. 

Q: Will your family start any new traditions because of the drastic change or will you try to keep it as normal as possible for memories sake?

A: We're not really a family of traditions. Christmas has always meant Turkey + gifts + tree. Two of those will be gone this year. 

Q: Have you noticed any significant change mentally since the move?

A: I suppose the little things don't get to me as much as before. I still hate them, however being here has made everything more tolerable. 

Q: An island has two-hundred and one people living on it. one-hundred people have blue eyes, one hundred people have brown eyes, one person has green eyes. The green eyed person is the Chief. No one on the island knows their eye colour, there are no mirrored surfaces and they stay away from all water sources until night. They do not speak. If anyone finds out their eye colour they must leave the island immediately. Once a year the chief speaks to the people. One year she exits her tent and looking at no one in particular she says, 'I see someone with blue eyes.' She than returns to her tent. Everyone in the tribe is a very logical. They think of the most logical plan for any situation and follow through. After how many days, how many people will leave the island?

A: 100 people leave on the 100th day. We had this riddle back when I was in Education, good old Higher Arithmetic. 

Q: When are you planning on visiting?

A: I will assuredly be back in Canada around May or June. However there is a possibility I may be coming to Canada sooner than that, however that would be a very brief visit.

Q: Do you miss all the entertainment you once had?

A: What I miss most is having unlimited internet and the news. There is no greater joy than hearing Peter Mansbridge read out the days events. I also hate being thousands of kilometers away from my Wii U, such cruel fate.

Q: When are you coming back to Canada?

A: I think I answered that, but May or June.

Q: Where are you going to live in Canada?

A: Alberta, province of champions.

Q: What are you going to do in Canada?

A: Have a job that pays lots of money.

Q: Who are you going to do in Canada?

A: Everyone, so prepare yourself.

Q: How will you return to Canada?

A: In an airplane.

Q: What is your favorite NBC sitcom?

A: I don't have TV anymore. :(

Q: If you had to pick a favorite year from you life what would it be?

A: 2009, everything was exciting and new. I was acing my Education program, but I hadn't learned how soul crushing it could be yet.

Q: What about a favorite year from all of history?

A: 1990. It was the year I was born, and also the year that Fire Emblem was first released!

Q: If you were a serial killer how would you kill people?

A: A syringe, nothing scarier than some stranger injecting something into you.

Q: Romney or Obama?

A: Robama

Q: Is it right that the recent events in the US have triggered discussions of gun control/God in schools and is that discussion healthy given the overwhelming influence of the events or should such things have been left alone?

A: It's always the right time to be talking about it, however, people also need to stay rational and avoid knee-jerk reactions. 

Q: If the discussion isn't healthy/not right does that make a positive change that could come from it also wrong?

A: No, a positive change should always be welcome, even if society may be afraid of hearing it.

Q: How tall are you?

A: 5'10 

Q: Will you be bringing a dog back to Canada with you? And if not will you get one when you arrive?

A: No way, these dogs are never leaving this country until the boat can leave. As for getting a dog, it would be nice, however I don't see that happening until I have a house of my own.

Q: What is the best place you've visited in Guatemala?

A: Tienda Reed, it's like going back in time, while also seeing the present on top of it. The castle is also OK  but it's nothing too special.

Q: What is the most interesting thing that you've done there?

A: Nuking the internet connection at the most popular restaurant here. Lots of people were pissed and I quietly slipped away.

Q: Will you keep painting after you return to Canada?

A: Yeah, I think so, it's a good way to kill an hour or so. 

Q: Who's your favorite Ninja Turtle?

A: Donatello, brains > brawn.

Q: Least favorite Seinfield character?

A: George, he is such a man child.

Q: How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A: They could chuck the entire Boreal Forest in one day. 

Q: Do I believe the world will end?

A: The notion of the world ending is totally prepos

1 comment:

  1. Your boat looks more spacious than I had envisioned.

    Merry Christmas Michael!