Sunday, September 16, 2012

A Huge Storm

Last night as I was getting ready to go to bed, a heavy downpour arrived and covered the region in a thick fog. Being that the only ventilation in my room is created by a ceiling hatch, I stopped what I was doing and closed the hatch before an unmanageable amount of rain could pour inside. As I turned around after closing the hatch, I spotted something brown and shiny scurrying around the stairs. God damn it! Another roach is spreading it's filth.

I quickly dashed up into the living room and grabbed the bottle of water/soap that we use to stun roaches. As I raced back downstairs, the roach was still scurrying around, so I took the bottle and sprayed it. It seemed to effect it a little bit, but the roach then started running around like mad. As this was happening, all of the lights suddenly went out, and I was afraid that my prey would escape into the darkness. Fortunately, it was only a power surge and the lights were restored about ten seconds later, though it seemed like an eternity for me, and likely the roach as well.

When the lights came back on, I saw the roach climbing up the wall in a futile attempt to escape. I sprayed him heavily with the water and he stopped moving. We both stayed perfectly still for thirty seconds, then I grabbed a piece of my bookshelf, and prepared to crush this bastard. As I moved in, the water took it's full effect and the roach comically slid down the wall. I wasted no time at this point and promptly flattened him with the wood.

Did you know that roach guts are white? Did you also know that they are incredibly difficult to clean up? I sure didn't. I grabbed a large bunch of paper towels and grabbed that roaches filthy body. There is no way that I would permit it to stay inside the boat, so I knew I had to throw it into the river. When I arrived upstairs, the floor was soaked with water. Ugh, what a mess. No matter, disposing the roach was priority one, so I opened the screen and chucked it's body into the dark river. I closed the door properly, and cleaned up the water as best as I could. With no AC, we installed screen doors to let the breeze cool off the boat. Unfortunately, this allows all sorts of water to get in whenever it rains. Usually, only a little bit gets in, but with the blowing wind, the water just pooled up. What a joy, at least it gave a mildly interesting story, but really you have to be here to appreciate it.


  1. Wow, you sure hate roaches, huh?

    I keep picturing a tiny scurrying cloud of roaches appearing any time you move your furniture, "Animal Crossing" style.

    1. I do hate roaches, they only exist to spread disease and have no useful function. I hate them, they are enemy number one here.